Of the last 24 years... I have been a full time student for 21, a half time student for 2 and an aspiring graduate student for 1. I still considered myself a student during that year though since there wasn't a force on earth that was going to keep me from graduate school the next year.
That all ends on June 13th. It's something to celebrate, but also something that I think I'll find myself mourning. Heck, I already do.
I've never had the kind of liberty I'm about to have before. I can go anywhere. Anywhere! And then if I don't like it, I can go somewhere else a few months later. This is a bizarre twist for me... mind boggling really and, frankly, a little bit scary.
Some people call this the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. I think those people don't know what it's like to spend 24 years as a student, or have been out so long that they've forgotten. This... is a major shift in paradigms. my life to this point has been making ends meet as best I can, (which means rent, food, school supplies and a little entertainment) and focusing on school. Romantic relationships were few and far between. Saving money for anything other than next semester was hardly a thought, since it wasn't feasible. now everything is going to be different.
First there's the student loans to pay back... yikes. I've got a job in Boulder, which I'm thrilled about. I'll be making enough money to start setting some aside for... ha ha ha... for a condo or house some day... or even retirement! How funny is that, I finally enter the workforce and I have to start saving for retirement...
I no longer find myself yanked around the country or pinned down in a city I loathe (yes, loathe) and feel like I could be really comfortable meeting someone romantically without having to move away in 3-6 months.
That's something else that came up. A classmate of mine, in the same situation as I, free for the first time ever really, finds himself in a quandary. He has been offered a good job in a place he loves... but is in love with a woman who not only can't leave, but doesn't want to. His disdain for Cincinnati isn't quite as pronounced as mine, but he's been aching to flee it all of his life as opposed to my 3 years and he is clearly struggling with the problem. What would I do in his place? God... I don't know. If it was a matter of a person in Boston, it would be an easy decision. I feel horribly selfish even thinking that it would be a hard decision, but at the same time, to stay someplace you dislike or even hate... that's the kind of thing that can build up into resentment and cause problems in a relationship.
What would I do?
I think if I were really, truly in love, it would be an easy decision to make and the only reason it seems hard now is because I don't have that kind of thing with anyone.
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