Aauuuuuuugh!

I was really excited about my swim test... and it did not go well at all.
I got to the rec this evening and realized that I didn't have either pairs of my shorts. I had running pants and two shirt (one short sleeve one long) and no shorts. I usually have two pairs of shorts i can swim in and i quickly realized I had left both at home in the dryer. Ugh.
Not only that, but because I had put off the swim until the end of the evening when I knew I'd be able to get the lane I wanted, I didn't have time to run home and get those shorts and get back in time to do the workout. In fact, I'd have gotten back in time to see them close the pool. Bad decision on my part. My next thought was my underwear, could I wear that? I have a couple pairs that could pass for speedo type swim wear. Unfortunately, this was not one of those days. I then remembered I had one pair of running shorts in studio. A twelve minute trip later I was changing into some very baggy shorts. I normally wear clingy bicycle type shorts on my swims, I was a little skeptical about these shorts, I kept them in studio for spur of the moment runs, not swims. Still they were all I had.
I did a quick warm-up and I knew right away this was going to be tough. I felt like I was swimming through thick seaweed. Still, I told myself to relax, the shorts aren't going to affect my time very much, they're just shorts after all. I centered myself a bit, floating on my back in the water, then started the TT.
I started out way too strong and realized it after a couple laps, partly a result of my earlier frustration and partly, I think, a reaction against starting the bike TT too slow. I told myself to relax, calm down and focus on maintaining a steady pace... no point exhausting myself on the first 500. I was halfway through the first 500 at that point and looked at my watch... 4'59"! Not what I had been expecting at all. based on how hard I had been swimming I would have expected a much, much faster time at that point. 4'59" was, honestly, devastating.
I finished the 500 in 10'02", collected myself a bit in the 5 second break, then headed into my next 500, trying to salvage the TT. I tried focusing on my form, making it as clean and perfect as I could, making my strong long and trying to maximize every movement without pushing too hard, knowing I had another two 500s after this one. I finished in 10'08".
I started the third 500 and immediately my mind shifted to whether I was making the right decision. This was possibly the worst I had felt during a swim in a long time. I felt like each stroke was getting me nowhere and it was driving me bonkers, alternately angry, frustrated and miserable.
Within the first 100 yards of the third set, I made a decision. I stopped. I wasn't getting anything out of this workout except anger and I doubt it would tell Mark much about my progress. So I decided to stop and get up early tomorrow to do the workout properly. I don't know how much the shorts actually slowed me down, but I can be pretty sure that my anger and frustration was certainly ruining the workout. I usually find swimming to be very peaceful and relaxing, even when I swim hard, but this was just horrible and angry.
So tomorrow I'm going to get up early and tackle the swim. in fact, i think i'm going to head home now and make sure I get enough sleep before I do it. Less than twelve hours from now I will have a new post about how I rocked the swim and how glad I am that I didn't try to power through a bad workout. I can and I will.